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the downward spiral

as previously mentioned, our new record is finished. artwork just got completed the other day. it sounds and looks awesome. no band will ever tell you that their favorite record was their first, or anything that came before their present body of work, hence, our new album is our favorite/the best piece of art tera melos has produced. of course there will be purists, (do we have any of those?? not sure. there’s gotta be a couple), who argue that we will never do anything close to the drugs ep or the split or this or that. there will likely be at least one psycho that thinks the first demos are untouchable. yikes. in any case, this is the first fully realized, focused record we have made. everything sounds intentional and the way we wanted it to sound. there are no cringe moments for us. in a lot of ways we look at it like it’s our first album. it is 100% honest and not catered towards anyone. it’s tricky making a record that way, it’s even trickier structuring a band that way.

99% of the time it’s a liberating feeling knowing that you’re existing by a set of moral standards you’ve embraced. the other 1% of time and space can be very dark and depressing. now that we’ve completed the record and have to sit around for months before anyone can hear it, boredom sets in and sometimes our brains begin to slip into that 1% zone. it sounds real similar to postpartum depression, based off of what i’ve read on wikipedia.

it’s weird to even type it out, but we exist in the music industry. i don’t mean to attach any negative connotations to that. it’s something that’s very exciting and a place that we’ve worked very hard at to get to. obviously we have barely scratched the surface of that whole world. and by the way, i’m not talking about the evil, corporate part of the music industry. i’m talking about being big boys, album budgets, distribution, other people’s money, collaborating with people smarter than you, etc. essentially the lowest tier of the music industry, but also one of the most important tiers. we are extremely lucky to be in this position and realize there are a lot of bands out there that would do anything to sit where we sit- there’s probably even a band or two that would cut their shitty swoopy hairdos and write good music- imagine that!?

getting back to my point- entering the dark world. although it’s very exciting to be on this side of things, it can also be very sad and disenchanting. that’s where you start to creep into that 1% headspace. you look around and things just seem fucked up and without order. then you realize that everything is, in fact, structured and that it’s the order in which the world follows that is actually fucked up. when that hits you, man, you spiral. i have definitely deconstructed the whole idea of playing music in a band more than once- what does one get out of it/what are you supposed to get out of it/what is the end result/am i happy with the means in which i am choosing to attain the end/blah blah blah. it gets deep. i feel like every honest musician struggles with this. when vince quit the band i ran lots of options through my head about what would happen if we couldn’t find someone to fill his shoes- we could start another band, i could finish one of my countless musical projects i’ve talked about for years, we could join this or that band, etc. the results of those thoughts were consistent- this is the only thing that can fully satify my musical desire. and in that intrinsic satisfaction most likely lies the answer to all those weird, deep questions you ask yourself as an honest musician. 

that’s a mouthful for sure. you may need to read it twice for it to make sense. i know i did. summed up- the new record is awesome. it’ll be worth the wait. posers won’t last. they’re always consumed by next week’s flavor, which is always some form of shit. keep hyping it up you irresponsible fuck heads. to quote the great mike watt, “START YOUR OWN BAND!!!” wait, no, don’t start a band. we need a wave of bands to break up. tim kinsella knows.

how did that super positive blog post just turn nasty? i must be slipping into that 1%.

by the way i like the broken ep a lot more than the downward spiral, the latter just made more sense for the blog title.